i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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