If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
