dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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