Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
