saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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