im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
