I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
