those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
