So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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