Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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