The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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