i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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