she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
