the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
