I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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