Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize