on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
the condom got lost in my hair
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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