You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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