Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
