I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
