Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
