Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
