lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
