I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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