your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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