you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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