I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
