Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
