"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I still have a little drunk in my system
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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