You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize