She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
