we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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