but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You made out with two different species that night
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
