Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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