i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
