Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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