But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
