I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
