STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There r osticjed everywhere
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Randomize