I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
