Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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