The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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