we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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