I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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