I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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