hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
