a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
