i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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