I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
