I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
