Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
