I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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