he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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