The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
