Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
