Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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