He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
